For the past few weeks, I’ve talked about three lenses that go into my “magic kaleidoscope.”  Today, we’re diving in to putting it to use.

For me, the three lenses in the kaleidoscope help diagnose underlying causes…and help me shift onto a more productive pathway.  Today’s diagnostic situation deals with the feeling of being misunderstood.

I don’t understand what the disconnect is.  Things are perfectly clear to me.

Do you have people around you – good people – and they just don’t seem to get it?  They keep doing stupid things.  Things that gum up the works and wind up making things more difficult for the whole team to make forward progress.  Ever wish you were telepathic?  Ever wish you could project the clarity in your mind into the haze others seem to have in theirs?

Twisting the kaleidoscope’s Lens of Communication and Visibility, here are some diagnostic questions I ask myself when I feel like people around me are disconnected from the vision, from the plan.

• How many ways have I laid out expectations?
• How do I negotiate buy-in?
• What adjustments will lead to a better outcome?
• Am I willing to make those adjustments?

How many ways have I laid out expectations?

People communicate and learn in different ways.  Some folks grasp things through talking about it.  Some grasp things best through a simulation.  We are each unique, and we each have a unique Communications style that works for us.

As a leader, how have you ensured that you have effectively communicated through each of those unique Communications styles?

You’ve likely seen the “Social Media Explained” memes identifying the differences between various social media venues.  Some folks love Twitter.  Others can’t stand it.  Some gravitate to LinkedIn over Facebook or vice versa.  There’s nothing right or wrong about their choice or preference.  And as leaders, we get to travel beyond our own preferences to reach our audience…especially the ones that work with us.  If you’re a Facebooker and you have folks that prefer YouTube, guess what?  If you care about truly connecting with those people, you get to become a Facebooker and a YouTuber.

Practically, this comes down to styles, mediums and timing.  Have you been funny?  Firm?  A bitch?  Have you tried speaking?  Writing?  Singing and dancing?  Have you scheduled meetings?  Taken folks to lunch?  Done impromptu Karaoke in the lavatory?

What have you not done (yet) to connect with these folks who just don’t get it?

Something Different

When my business partner and I took on a turnaround effort, we initially tried meetings and conversations in conference rooms.  We figured, “Hey, it’s a business setting.  We’re discussing the business.  Conference room.”  And while we got a lot of head nods, we didn’t see much in terms of results.

Then one day, I started inviting people to lunch.  I took them to a hole-in-the-wall Chinese joint, the kind with those Chinese Zodiac placemats.  While there, I began to talk about our vision for the organization.  I talked about how I saw their individual experience and expertise fitting into that vision.  I even turned those paper place mats into mini white boards, sketching out diagrams left and right of how I saw us winning and delivering new work.  And while it didn’t resonate with everyone, those lunch conversations are legendary in the office.  Several people still have a Gin’s place mat at their desk.  That time impacted them in a way a lecture in a conference room never could.  Perfect?  No.  Different? Yep.  And it worked.

How do I negotiate buy-in?

Even though I cringe when I hear that phrase “buy-in,” I’m willing to use it because the concept of “buying-in” means the other party is invested in the outcome.  The trouble comes when we set the bar too low, and it’s easy for folks to “sell out” from what they’ve “bought-in” to.

The common business philosophy is that you want everyone to buy-in.  My perspective is that I want people who buy-in to be significantly and personally invested in the outcome.  I want them invested enough that they’re going to contribute to us reaching the goal.  I care more about someone selling out than I do about them not buying-in.

How have you negotiated the buying-in process?  Was there a clear commitment from both sides on what was being bought into?  What the expected ROI was?  Is what they’ve bought into yielding the promised level of returns?  Are people selling out?  And if they are, why?

Buying in…and selling out

I recall a time when I got to work with a truly gifted software engineer.  We were working on a very challenging effort, and he loved the challenge.  He bought in to the challenge, and he bought into the group of people who were pursuing excellence in themselves and in their work.

When that effort was complete, the company gave him another monumental challenge – even bigger than the first.  And at first, he loved it.  But whereas the first project had very competent leadership, this time, the company put the wrong people in the key leadership positions.  After a few short months on the new project, he sold out of everything he had bought into and took a job with a competitor.

What adjustments will lead to a better outcome?

Is the path forward obvious and crystal clear to you?  Is it obviously not crystal clear to others?  Is that disconnect causing some frustration on your part?  Consider what the vision, the plan, the whatever-it-is that-there’s-a-disconnect-on is worth to you.  Is it worth being frustrated?  Is it worth being alone?  Are you all worked up over something trivial?  Does it really matter?

And if it does matter, then you get to twist all the lenses in the kaleidoscope – Communications and Visibility, Thrust and Momentum, and Vector and Direction – until you find a beautiful path through, and your partners “get it.”

And the adjustment doesn’t have to be huge to be significant. Sometimes, a slight change in your behavior – be it Communications and Visibility, Thrust and Momentum, or Vector and Direction – creates a huge impact on someone else.

Small Adjustment…Huge Impact

I recall the first cruise Melissa and I took.  It was an Alaskan cruise, and we loved it.  On the day that we went to the Tracy Arm fjord to get up close and personal with a glacier, we sat on our balcony in awe of the scenery, watching the little ice bergs float by.  And while that was interesting for a while, after a couple of hours of that, I got bored.  We were parked “with spectacular views of the glacier,” they said over the ship’s loudspeaker.  But I didn’t get what the big fuss was all about.

Until the captain changed Vectors and Direction and spun the ship around.  At that point, I realized the truly awesome magnificence we’d been sitting in the whole time.  It was just that my balcony – comfortable and gorgeous as it was – limited my view.  Melissa and I raced up to the top deck and just stood there in awe of every little – and massive – thing around.

Am I willing to make those adjustments?

Is that vision, that plan, so crystal clear to you that the thought of adjusting even a smidge is…inconceivable?  That shifting your perspective even a little would completely screw up the perfection?

If that’s the case, then realize that all those other people…the one thing they do not have is your perspective. 

Are you willing to make some adjustments in yourself to reconnect with the people you want “bought in” to you and your vision?